By Missy Swanson
I knew I was having a girl from the minute I found out I was pregnant. I already had one little boy, and things felt different right away. During my pregnancy with my son, I craved all things salty and fried, and I had the irresistible need to paint my kitchen and take on home improvement projects. This time around, as my pregnancy progressed, I craved watermelons and cherries and sweets; I had bizarre urges to learn to quilt and to bake things. I had a lot of nausea, but it wasn’t as intense as in my first pregnancy. We decided not to find out the baby’s gender at my ultrasound, but I told everyone it was a girl anyway.
The time leading up to the birth was difficult for my family. We experienced the devastating losses of close family members and family friends. I began to worry that something would go wrong with the baby. After listening to my grief and anxieties, my mother reassured me, “This baby will be a bright ray of sunshine in this dark year.” I took that to heart as best I could and tried to focus on the new life growing inside me.
My due date was June 16, and it came and went quickly. I continued working until a few days past my due date (my son had been 15 days overdue), but I was exhausted and ready for the baby to come. Sometime after 41 weeks, we started doing all the usual things to encourage labor, and we made a plan to get the baby born around 42 weeks. So on June 30th, when I was exactly 42 weeks, my parents came and took our 2-year-old, and then I had a morning of castor oil, acupuncture, and herbs. I choked down the castor oil first thing in the morning and then headed out to my acupuncture appointment. The plan was to then continue some labor herbs and check in with the midwives later in the day.
By the afternoon, I had been having uncomfortable contractions all day, but nothing that felt “labory.” I was getting very tired and discouraged, and decided to call and see if I could come in for a sweep. We lived a little over an hour away from the birth center, so we planned to get a hotel and sleep if nothing was happening. I was excited that Sarah was the midwife on call. She’d helped me through my first labor, and I’d gotten to be at many more births with her since I started working as a nurse at WBWC.
When we arrived, Sarah checked my cervix. “Well, you’re 5 centimeters. I think you’re in labor!” I was beyond thrilled, and I felt my energy returning. “So I might actually have this baby in June after all!” Sarah swept my cervix, and I bounced on the ball and kept taking the herbs. We went out to walk around the parking lot for a little while. The contractions were still coming, and getting a little more intense. After an hour or so, I was feeling some pressure like my water was going to break. We came back from our walk to get checked again. As Sarah was checking me, I felt a “pop,” and amniotic fluid flooded the bed. I was pleased to find out I was now six centimeters. And water breaking is progress, right?
But after a little time, I noticed my contractions had gotten much weaker. I could still feel them, but they weren’t painful. My husband, Andy, and I were laughing and joking and eating pizza and generally having a good time. The optimistic part of my brain was thinking, “Maybe labor just hurts less the second time around!” The labor nurse part of brain was thinking, “If you’re eating pizza, you’re not in labor.” I tried to ignore that part of my brain, but it gradually became clear she was right.
I kept up with the herbs and tried all sorts of different things – binding my belly, getting back on the ball, walking around, getting in the shower – but it was obvious that labor had fizzled out. I was still having contractions every 3 minutes, but they were very mild. I was beyond frustrated, and I did not want to have to go to the hospital to augment labor.
Around midnight, Sarah came in and gave me a pep talk. I was still really, really, really hoping I was somehow in labor. But my cervix hadn’t changed from six centimeters. She suggested maybe I could get some rest, which is midwife code for “you’re not meeting this baby anytime soon.” I finally admitted that labor wasn’t happening. I took some Tylenol PM, soaked in a warm bath, and tried to get some rest. It was difficult to get comfortable in the bed, so I built a little nest in the rocking chair and dozed off intermittently.
By 3 AM or so, the contractions had stopped completely, and I got into the bed. Sarah came in to make a plan for the morning. “You can get up and go out for breakfast, and then come back and maybe try to castor oil again, or an enema, or some more herbs,” she suggested. Not my ideal plan (which was JUST BE IN LABOR RIGHT NOW!), but sounded better than Pitocin. I finally fell asleep.
At 5:30, I woke with a start to a contraction that made me sit straight up in bed. Ah yes, real labor contractions! I got out of bed and listened to my Hypnobabies scripts in the rocking chair for half an hour or so before I woke up Andy. “I’m actually laboring!” I told him. It wasn’t long before I felt I needed to be in the water. I didn’t want things to slow down now that they were actually happening, so I decided to get into the shower. I let Sarah know I was in labor FOR REAL this time.
The shower felt great, but the contractions had gotten very intense. I made myself squat down low with the contractions and do hip circles in between. After a little time, even the shower wasn’t helping. “I need to get in the tub!” I told Andy. “Can you ask someone to fill it up?” It was almost change of shift, so the midwives and nurses were busy giving report. He told me someone would help me get to the tub when it was ready. That took about a hundred years, so finally I told him, “Let’s just go. I promise my cervix is changing.” I told Sarah bye and was very sad that she wasn’t going to be catching my second baby. Luckily, the oncoming midwife and nurse, Leigh Ann and Cheryl, were two of my favorite people.
Sitting in the tub, I had a hard time getting comfortable. The warm water provided some relief, but at that point there’s only so much you can do. I started to feel some pressure and asked Leigh Ann to check me. “You’re eight centimeters and very stretchy,” she told me. I did not want to have a water birth, so she said, “Tell me when you’re ready to push, and we’ll get you out.” It didn’t take long until I started feeling that bearing-down sensation.
“Is it time?” Leigh Ann asked. Yes; yes, it was. They helped me out of the tub and onto hands and knees in the bed. The pressure was intense, and each push was bringing the baby down quickly. I couldn’t focus my efforts and was just screaming. Leigh Ann looked me in the eye and said, “Missy! Get your head together!” That was probably the most useful advice I’ve ever received in labor.
I focused my efforts and moved the baby even further. I switched onto my side, and Cheryl held my leg. “Cheryl, I can’t keep my leg like that!” I whined, and then, with the next push, the baby was out. What an amazing relief! I reached down and there she was, my little ray of sunshine. She looked up at me with big, brown eyes and let out a wail. I brought her right up on my chest. Violet Marion was born at 9:25 AM on July 1st, weighing in at 8 pounds and nine ounces, and she is still our own little bit of sunshine.
