By Deja Nicole

I’ve always wanted to be a mother. When I reached my twenties, it became something that I put in the back of my mind in order to achieve my academic goals as well as finding a career. Now approaching thirty, I started to question whether I would conceive sooner than later. In June of 2016, after noticing some unusual weight gain, I found out that we were pregnant.

Although it took both my partner and me by surprise, it was a moment we both celebrated immediately. My thoughts swirled. What would we name him or her? Am I ready to be a mom? Would I want a girl or a boy? We contemplated what our new life would be like with a sweet addition to the love we already had. One thing was for sure, I wanted a completely natural birth. I have always been uncomfortable with the idea of epidurals and hospitals never feel welcoming. I wanted this new soul to arrive in the world as peacefully and calmly as possible. I wanted an atmosphere of love and positivity, not continuous prodding and beeping. Women’s Birth & Wellness Center offered us that and more.

Time started to fly by. Month after month we would watch our baby grow in my belly and before we knew it, February had come and we were expecting a little girl. I had a few Braxton Hicks during due date week but nothing to shout from the rooftops. As the day approached I became more and more anxious. 40 weeks came and went and although dad was patient, I was starting to feel tired and nervous. Four days past baby’s due date I was ready to try anything I could to get this show on the road. My partner Jamar and I decided to get up that morning and take a walk around the lake hoping it would get something going. After our walk we stopped for breakfast before returning home. Jamar was going to work that day so I planned on doing some work at home. As soon as he left for work, I started to feel strange. Soon after I felt the first wave that labor had begun. From that point everything happened so fast. Within the hour my contraction went from every eleven minutes to every six. I knew it was time to go. I first called my doula to let her know that we were preparing to go to Chapel Hill and have a baby. My partner came home, helped gather our things and get me in the car. It was the most intense 40 minutes; Jamar was focused but so calm. Looking back, I appreciate him so much for his positivity and patience. Getting to WBWC is a blur but I was relieved when we did. My doula arrived soon after. I quickly undressed and was examined. Six centimeters already and I was shocked by the progression. I would have a child soon. I started on the birthing ball but I knew I wanted a water birth. My family then arrived and I met my midwife Belinda. What a blessing in disguise. She along with two nurses took incredible care and time with us. I transitioned to the water and soon after I was at my brink.

Belinda checked and discovered I was at 10cm. It was time to push. With soothing music  and salt lamps I began to birth my daughter. Even though these moments were intense I could hear my partner’s voice. I was uninterrupted and followed my instincts on breathing and progressing. With a break of my water, I then pushed out my daughter’s head. Exhausted, I rested my head back to gather my strength and I hear Jamar in his amazement say “Wow, God is a woman”. Just those words made me feel empowered. I gave a few more strong pushes and felt a wave of adrenaline and relief. February 7, 2017 at 5pm, Onyx Jade Coston was born at 7lbs. I was overwhelmed with emotion. We were parents of this beautiful little girl. After some bonding and examining, Belinda came back in to update. She mentioned Jamar’s comment during labor and we had a moment of feminist joy. After witnessing a woman give birth in its rawest state, he discovered the power of the feminine. God was a woman. It was the highlight of laboring.

My experience was everything I wanted and I was filled with content, thankful I chose the Women’s Birth & Wellness Center. I never would have thought that I would have the opportunity to birth and really feel freedom and control. I could not ask for more. I am so thankful for all the women at the Birth Center who contributed to Onyx’s arrival. We are new to parenting but it’s an experience I wouldn’t trade for the world.